Virender Kapoor

The Talkative Indian

Virender kapoor

Adding 15.34 million subscribers every month to an already existing 861 million mobiles, we are all set to cross the one billion mark by 2012. This simply means every four out of five of us having a phone within a year. From  our first telephone exchange at Kolkata in 1892 with just 97 subscribers  ,this is impressive.

Our  TQ-Talking Quotient of averaging 500 minutes of talk time every month is highest in the world with Chinese at 327 minutes and Koreans , Russians speaking for 160 and 88 minutes a month respectively. We  talk too much and  also very loudly  – as if the other  person is deaf. Most of us don’t bother to put our mobiles on vibrate mode even during seminars or conferences. Simple etiquettes tell us to follow this norm and today one can afford to speak softly as handhelds are  sensitive enough to  pick up even a burp  of a mouse.

We refuse to switch off our phone even after the airhostess’s announcement . Gesturing with  a raised finger in the air, with pleading expression , “ Just-one-minute- please” and the cabin crew with an exasperated look of “ Oh-will –you- just –shut- up “; the scene is not funny. It is important to understand that mobile handset signals do interfere with the avionics of the aircraft and can be hazardous to the flight safety.

A billion Indians speaking for 500 minutes per month would translate into  annual talk time touching 6 trillion minutes! With this kind of speaking stamina we are  adding Rs 200,000 Crores to our GDP and also kicking up the price of spectrum to mega bucks which was till now a dead resource. Bolo India Bolo.

 While every minute on the phone adds to the national kitty, it is a time waster .It would be a better idea to read a book than talk on the phone at the airport lounge. It adds to your intellect and does not hurt your pocket using this ‘Joy Toy’.

With talk time prices tumbling down we no more bother about how much we speak. People go for a walk to take a break as well. This is the best time to be with yourself, thinking  of nothing , switching off from the maddening world. Yyour overheated brain, a tired mind , an exhausted mouth and  over strained vocal cords need a break.  But Joggers parks are full of talkative Indians who refuse to give up.

It is dicey to drink and drive and is equally risky to speak and drive. Not to miss a crooked head on a two wheeler- many times masked with a scarf and dark glasses to avoid dust- a dead mummy driving  and also talking!

A head count in a party or a mall confirms four out of ten guys stuck to their mobiles-   try it  as an interesting number game.

To reduce stress levels, before you punch a number on your mobile consider this. “Do I really need to speak? If you are looking for an honest answer, most of the times it will be “No You don’t”.

Your Talk Mantras ..

·         Think before you call - is this required.

·         Cut out the pleasantries – these are time wasters.

·         Be brief and to the point- don’t be repetitive.

·         Talk softly and be polite.

·         Don’t use your phone while driving.

·         Switch off your phone in the aircraft.

·         Avoid using a phone in public places- it disturbs others.

  We suffer  from  “Acute Compulsive Excessive Speaking Disorder”- ACESD.

Get rid of it- you can do it.