What the F**K are these Cuss words in our Brown Aksent

                                                       

We  laugh  when in the ‘police academy’ someone says “Bust your arse”..( even if there is nothing to laugh at), and we love to use this to prove our Phirangi outlook.But look around awkwardly when we listen to Rani Mukherjee’s “arse” in Hindi starting with a big, “G***” in  “No one killed Jessica Lal”. Teri G*** Phat ke Haath main aa jaigi.And say “Oh, Bahuot Abusive hai yaar! Absolutely sadaak chhapp!” so embarrassing -oh  so desi.

Sandhu becomes Sandy, Mandip a Mandy, Kulwinder a Candy!  Gay is not so gay in Punjab after all. Translation in Punjabi will be Oh so Slummish!

Delhi Belly the new hot movie sets your arse on fire!! Try and translate this in Punjabi and you will go red faced. It crosses all limits and takes the cake in using the choicest of Hindi Gaalis with a good mix and match of Fuck and Sucks.

Osho, Bhagwan Rajnish once delivered a pravachan on f@*ck .He proves that the word is certainly not Onomatopoei! Which are words that sound like the thing they represent .And both the males and females have use it far beyond the activity for which it was originally conceived.It is used as a noun,adjective, a verb  and even as an interjection!It defines and describes human emotions so perfectly.

Oh F^*%s expresses disappointment .What the f*&*k ..excitement and surprise.He is a fu***ng nut..stupidity. Who the f**k do you think you are..questions authority.Get the f**k out of here..giving marching orders..You see the power of the word.

Mahesh Bhatt says “Market forces change the form of every art..” Anurag Kashyap another film maker says “Its time to grow up..”. If this is what public wants then this is what public gets. Truely it is the market of today. And yes the urban guys and even gals are no more ashamed to use the four letter words in public in Hindi, Bhojpuri or Punjabi- who cares. As Anurag Kashyap says that is the language we speak.

What we also need to rethink is the way we speak English. Considering how foreigners speak Hindi literally f****ng it , why are we bothered to speak English English.

It is amusing  to see Shane Warne, struggling to say, “SAAR OOTAA KAYEE JIYOOU AUOR SAAR OOTAA  KEYE      KAEIALO.” In a HDFC standard life Insurance Advertisement.

“Aare yaar, yeh itna bhi nahi bol sakta?” is the first thing that comes to your mind, “Aur ham isko fir bhi itna paisa de rahen hai.” Almost all the reporters on western news channels pronounce muslims as”Mauzlims” and “Al Qaeda” as “Ayile Kaiydda”. The Britishers  stayed on our soil for almost a century and not only failed to learn our language but could never even learn to pronounce names of some of our cities like Jaipur or Lucknow.  What if one of them is asked to sing our national anthem! They never cared to learn and were never ever ashamed of this shortfall.

On the flip side, “We the people” speak and write better Queen’s English probably better than the Queen of England herself. We are also obsessed with being always, “Englishly correct” and are very conscious of this whenever we open our mouths. Not funny, but we insist speaking to even a waiter in a desi restaurant in English forcing the guy to struggle and speak the ‘Phoren’ Language.

If we see somebody speaking “non convent” or “non convent-ion-al” English we dump him for life. We are amused  when a Maharashtrian calls the writing instrument as “pain” and an Allahabadi as “pan” and a sardar as “Pennn”. Also “Baide room”, “Bad room” and “Beddd room” rhyme similarly for ‘Bed room’- oh so desi.Never to miss two baidroom ‘hole’ kitchen of our Gujju Bhais. If  a Phirangi cricketer still calls Sachin Tendulkar as “Sashin Tendauoolkar, (here T is as in Train and not as in Tehran),then why should I bother about “ishtaar and ishtyle” or  that “Inglis is a phunni languaze”. Does our progress depend on how we speak a foreign language.?

We  are in awe of   everyone- except ourselves. We get embarrassed in a restaurant and order  pasta because we don’t know how to pronounce Lasagne as La-zan-ya. In China we acquire a Chinese way of speaking English, we get influenced by Arabs out of all the people  as well to show we are Dubai returned- Oh so desi.

My  friend went to UK for for just nine months but he and his wife returned as- total phirangi. Huge ‘Aksent yaar ‘ and what they acquired 30 years back still remains intact! Guys go to US for three months and return as half Texans. Fellow acquired an American accent immediately after his visa was stamped at the US Embassy - I am going to “YOU ASS”- he said.

And when someone starts speaking Hindi in English, it surely gives goose bumps. “Hey , tthum kya khaarta hai? Don’t you see Meim Saahib bath laye raaha hai.”

 Let us learn to be punctual, be patriotic and doesn’t matter whether we speak inglis in bihari or angreji in Punjabi.

Middle class dogs (pets of middle class) are named Fluffy, Peter or Bugsy while Moti and Sheru are relegated to the Dhobi Ghats or Press Wallas on the Nukkad.Most of us feel “ Mount Bald ” sound better than Pahhar Ganj..!

I wish we had ruled the world - sochne main kya harz hai! the most popular daily news papers for the rich and mighty Britishers living in central London would have been London Bhaskar , York Shire Jagaran or Manchester Ujala- if we had ruled the world..

Come on grow up. It can happen if you want it to happen.

Save the Honest Tiger

Almost every one of us is aware about the dwindling population of the great grand tigers across the world. From 100,000 in the year of the Lord 1900, today the figure hovers around anything between 3,000 to 4,000 tigers at best across the world. India alone has about 1700 Tigers .The tiger population has literally shrunk to less than four percent in a hundred years.

There have been numerous campaigns, huge media coverage, celebrity endorsements, World wild life fund projects and much more to reverse the trend. Sir Paul McCartney said “Losing the wild tiger would be unforgiveable. We need people power to save it. Every signature makes the campaign stronger” while referring to save the tiger project. This initiative was also endorsed by people no less than Amitabh Bachchan , Sir Roger Moore, Samantha Fox and Leonardo Dicaprio to name a few. Even the corporate has invested big time money in these projects as a part of their corporate Social responsibility initiative.

The concern to save the tiger, so that the species does not become extinct is really genuine and important. The efforts to tackle the situation are also worthy of praise and positive outcome is expected slowly but surely.

What is equally important – if not more- is to save the “honest tiger”. Population of this rare species is also rapidly shrinking by the day, especially in India. There may not be any comparative census report or a head count of the number of honest men and women in India in the year 1900 and how many of such people exist today. But , If tiger population has  experienced a dwindle ratio of 1:25 in the last century then one could  bet  on a worse scenario in case of the honest tiger – at least in India. Such men and women are tigers because in today’s corruption ridden Bharat you have to be a tiger to fight the corrupt and the jungle raj. You need to be a brave heart, strong, risk taking and fearlessly devoted to the cause and be prepared to sacrifice- even your life. The major difference between a striped tiger and the honest tiger is that the former is fighting for his life while the later is fighting for and behalf of all of us.

Scams and the society throw up wolves and hyenas in big numbers, but snuff the tigers. Whistle blowers, people who stand for honesty and who want to weed out corruption are blown away. Unfortunately wolves have a thick hide and have become stronger than the tigers whose dwindling numbers reflects this fact. Today the biggest challenge to the survival of an honest tiger is that he is always outnumbered by the Jackals and the hyenas who have a nexus and are even inbreeding and multiplying.  He desperately needs help, our help.

The striped tiger was chased and brutally exterminated by hunters employing various smart methods and tactics. Using a bait was the most common method to lure a tiger into the killing zone, where he was helpless, and could be easily gunned down. In India and Burma a mixture of latex and mustard oil was strewn around the water bodies where a tiger would come to drink water. This sticky stuff would get stuck to his paws, tongue and face and the poor animal would cover his face with mud and leaves while getting rid of it- hence making him partially blind. Setting jungles to fire, using beaters to scare the tiger into a place where he could be overpowered has also been in practice for very long.

Today wolves, hyenas and Jackals have also similarly learnt the art of trapping the honest tiger. They all unite despite their different pedigrees and gang up against him because they all have the same goal - finish the honest tiger. The wolves are becoming smarter and are aware that the honest tiger is alone. In case a few of them get together, wolves find a clever way to disperse them.

These tigers are not striped and cannot be easily spotted but have familiar names like Manjunath Shanmugam, Satyendranath Dubey or a Narendra Kumar who have been lone rangers.  Kiran Bedis, Anna Hazares and Arvind Kejriwals who got together were soon blown away by the wolves. Jackals and wolves are invisible gangs, goons, corridors of power, mafias, syndicates and mobs camouflaged within the system and sometimes outside the system.

Borrowing the words of Paul McCartney “Losing the honest tiger will be unforgiveable. We need peoples power to save it and every head counts”.  We need all hands on the deck, from Aam Admi ,celebrities, media, NGOs and even the corporate for this new initiative- which has already begun..

It is time that we save this grand and fearless race. If we cannot be whistle blowers ourselves or we are not able to start an anti corruption campaign let us at least support those who do. Remember, when the wolves strike together, all the animals in the forest will just disappear.

It would not be a bad idea to start a movement “Save the honest Tiger”.

Why EQ is more Important than IQ... Read on.. it can change your life and destiny..

To be prosperous is a very natural and essential requirement of every human being.   Therefore we all want to be successful in life.  A prosperous life means that one has to be successful as a student, as a professional and also as an individual.  Success besides materialistic achievement also means self esteem, satisfaction and general well being. The opportunities, available to you today are fortunately much more than what were available to young people about twenty years ago.

For example to pursue your further studies you have a large number of options. To choose a profession, apart from becoming an engineer, a doctor, a bureaucrat or a chartered accountant today one can opt for Mass Communication, Business management, fashion designing, Hospitality sector, Telecom Management to name a few.  Therefore in due course of time some of you will become IT professionals, singers, actors, models, painters, doctors, commercial pilots, entrepreneurs or consultants. Your other class fellows may pick up some very different professions, which you may not be able to even think of today.  This is possible because today things are changing at a very fast pace and more and more number of avenues are opening up.

To be successful in any of these areas you have to be good at that field.  These areas are going to be your domains where you will be working.  Therefore it is essential to have a good domain knowledge or domain expertise.  For that you should have a sound basic educational foundation.  This is given to you by your schools and colleges.  But do you think domain knowledge or expertise is enough to be successful?  Just think about this.

If I ask you the secret of success of Amitabh Bacchan, then what would be your answer?  Is it only his talent as an actor that has taken him to the number one position in the film Industry for the second time?  Or is there anything else that he posses which sets him apart from other film stars? The answer would be yes.  He has been so successful not only because he is a great actor but also because he has that will power to fight against failure, to work hard consistently at this age and his excellent relations with his co stars and film directors. Above all his humble approach in dealing with people has made him a likeable person.

In a similar way Sachin Tendulkar is a great batsman because besides being a gifted cricketer he is extremely hard working, meticulous and can play under tremendous pressure.  Therefore acquiring domain knowledge alone will not be enough for success.  You need to develop these other worldly skills possed by the most successful people.  Today it has been well proven that great people like JRD Tata, Narayan Murthy or Azim Premji were successful not so much because

of their domain knowledge but because of the qualities like, strong will power, love for their Job, ability to handle failure to name a few.  These people also had a firm belief in values like honesty, integrity and caring for others and the society.

Let us look at how over a period of time we as a society and as individuals developed our skills. During the beginning of the last century the progress of the society was dependant on inventions and discoveries like steam engine, electricity or the penicillin for example.  All these were the gifts of science and therefore study of science as a subject became very important for our progress.  Because of this a lot of importance was being given to science and technology.  That is how the concept of IQ (Intelligence Quotient) to test human ability came into being.   It was designed to assess the logical reasoning part of our abilities. 

Besides the logical reasoning god has given us some other abilities like acting, singing, or playing a game like football.  These are the gifts given to us by god.  Many people like AR Rehman, Lata Mangeshkar, Saurav Ganguly  have used these abilities to make a very successful and satisfying life.   Besides the IQ and the gifted abilities there is one more very important ingredient for success and that is values and emotional intelligence.  Values like commitment, honesty and caring for others are therefore as essential for success as IQ.  Emotional Intelligence is a set of those abilities which make us perform in any field better than the best.  Handling a set back, self esteem, ethical behaviour, being mentally strong are some of the abilities which form a part of Emotional Intelligence.  Unfortunately an IQ test does not cover these abilities at all.  Handling a crisis or getting along with friends has nothing to do with your IQ at all.  Nor are these related to your ability to become a singer or play football.   A lot of research has been done which proves that all great and successful people, like great singers, doctors, corporate heads, scientists and people from every walk of life have been successful because they believed in values and were having a high emotional intelligence. Therefore what ever field of profession you choose, these qualities will be essential for your success.  As you  read this book you will realize that this is the absolute truth.         

 

These are those worldly abilities without which success is not possible. For example you may be very good at mathematics and have a high IQ but if you do not seriously and meticulously prepare, you can never get through a competitive examination. Similarly you may be good at playing cricket, but if you do not practice six hours a day on the cricket pitch, have passion to play and do not go to the gym regularly to tone up your muscles, you cannot become Sachin Tendulkar.

Therefore these values and emotional intelligence become essential for success. Another important point to be understood is that the logical reasoning and IQ are

a matter of head where as emotional intelligence and value based success is from the heart.

For example, you would easily realize that passion for acting is from the heart and not the head. Similarly patriotism, charity and even self esteem are from your heart and not the head. Also remember that you would like to make friends with those people who are dependable, whom you can trust and who are good kind hearted people. If this is what you want from others, then. I am sure others would also like to see these qualities in you.

Another important thing for success is to have a role model. Role model is someone you look up to or someone you want to emulate or be like. A role model need not be only a very famous person like Abraham Lincoln, or Dhirubhai Ambani. It could be anyone whom you respect for his or her qualities. I know many young people who find their role models in their father or elder brother or even someone staying in the neighborhood. You can have multiple role models also. You may choose your father as a role model because he is down right honest and very hard working. At the same time you may admire Amitabh Bacchan for his dedication and ability to take set backs in life. So you could have two role models. And one day you may notice that your uncle has a pleasing personality and a great sense of humour, which could make for your third role model. Such role models become a great source of inspiration for all of us. And they remain a source of motivation and to some extent guiding spirit throughout our lives.

Now if you admire these people for these qualities than I am sure your friends will admire you if you imbibe and demonstrate these same very qualities! Just imagine, you can also become a role model for others if you acquire these simple abilities covered by emotional intelligence and value based living. Through these lessons we are going to learn some very important human abilities which I have briefly explained till now. Whatever you choose to do in the future, these abilities will take you to those heights of success which you can never ever imagine.

To get the maximum out of this you must participate in all discussions, group activities and also answer honestly the self assessment questions given at the end of each important value or quality.  Analyse your weak areas and then work on then so that you can improve in each and every quality.   God has given each one of us enough strength and intelligence so that we can make a change, a positive change to our personality.  The first step to make a change is to accept that you have certain qualities which you need to improve upon.  Then it becomes much easier to change.  Even if you make a little change in each area it will make a big change in your life.

“It is difficult to change 100% in one area but it is easy to change 1% in hundred areas”

It is a hard fact that people born in 50's and 60's were very attached to gifts what were given to them by parents or friends. For example a guy will preserve a wrist watch presented to him by his dad when he was just fourteen till the time he retired. He may not wear it all along but would keep it in his cupboard safely and would never throw it away as an old piece of junk.He would always relate it to the fond memories of his father.
People were very attached to their old cars, paintings and even plants or trees in the house.Old homes were not sold for profits as there were old memories attached to these homes. It was just not another property to dispose of and make money. It valued more than money.

This also reflected in relations with friends and girlfriends. Relations were for keeps. They were life long friendships, emotional bonding and it would hurt when it broke for any reason. People made efforts to keep relations going.
Today we are in the materialistic age where " Change is the in thing" we are prepared to throw away old things or even gifts as old junk. We don't value their value.May be same thing is trickling into human relations.. " Till the death dos us apart.." is " Till a divorce does us apart.."
There fore the old generation was ' attached' to things and people. Buddha's teaching says " remain unattached or detached from every worldly thing for happiness. Attachment is the basic cause of unhappiness".
If Gen Next is not attached then are they moving towards Happiness. That is the question we need to answer.

It is a hard fact that people born in 50's and 60's were very attached to gifts what were given to them by parents or friends. For example a guy will preserve a wrist watch presented to him by his dad when he was just fourteen till the time he retired. He may not wear it all along but would keep it in his cupboard safely and would never throw it away as an old piece of junk.He would always relate it to the fond memories of his father.
People were very attached to their old cars, paintings and even plants or trees in the house.Old homes were not sold for profits as there were old memories attached to these homes. It was just not another property to dispose of and make money. It valued more than money.

This also reflected in relations with friends and girlfriends. Relations were for keeps. They were life long friendships, emotional bonding and it would hurt when it broke for any reason. People made efforts to keep relations going.
Today we are in the materialistic age where " Change is the in thing" we are prepared to throw away old things or even gifts as old junk. We don't value their value.May be same thing is trickling into human relations.. " Till the death dos us apart.." is " Till a divorce does us apart.."
There fore the old generation was ' attached' to things and people. Buddha's teaching says " remain unattached or detached from every worldly thing for happiness. Attachment is the basic cause of unhappiness".
If Gen Next is not attached then are they moving towards Happiness. That is the question we need to answer.

                                                     Rise of Rajesh Khanna...
It was an interesting and an emotional coverage anchored by Times now channels Editor in Chief Arnab Goswamy where Mahesh Bhatt and Prem Chopra spoke about rajesh Khanna.
He asked a very pertinent Question " How rajesh Khanna managed to reach such heights?" The two gentlemen gave credit to his abilities- which no one could deny. But can talent alone get you to that super stardom?
I feel there is lot more to explain the phenomenon of success in a profession where there are so many intangibles working against and for you.
I feel you need to get lot many things right at the same time to hit spectacular success.It is like opening of all seven doors together- i a row and you taking a rifle shot which goes thru and hits the target.

In case of Rajesh Khanna, there were a few things which all worked together for him.
First of all he had Directors like Hrishikesh mukherjee and very strong story lines. More over, most movies had a sad ending generating sympathy and we iIndians are very emotional.
You need to take account of Songs- the soul of Indian cinema.I think there was a brillian composition backed by simple appealing lyrics. And to top it all the golden voice of Kishor Kumar- which had a touch of sophistication in it. You cannot discount this at all. Even todya those songs give you goose bumps- not only to the old but appeal to the young teens of today.His voice suited Rajesh Khanna like a tee.

!970 was the year which was 20 years plus into our freedom. The nation had come to terms with itself- people wanted to move along- there was no hatred or anger.Love was as if in the air. it was the end of the decade where the angry youth rebelled- and the angry man emerged.
That is how destinies are made. right time, right people and the right place...

The Talkative Indian

Virender kapoor

Adding 15.34 million subscribers every month to an already existing 861 million mobiles, we are all set to cross the one billion mark by 2012. This simply means every four out of five of us having a phone within a year. From  our first telephone exchange at Kolkata in 1892 with just 97 subscribers  ,this is impressive.

Our  TQ-Talking Quotient of averaging 500 minutes of talk time every month is highest in the world with Chinese at 327 minutes and Koreans , Russians speaking for 160 and 88 minutes a month respectively. We  talk too much and  also very loudly  – as if the other  person is deaf. Most of us don’t bother to put our mobiles on vibrate mode even during seminars or conferences. Simple etiquettes tell us to follow this norm and today one can afford to speak softly as handhelds are  sensitive enough to  pick up even a burp  of a mouse.

We refuse to switch off our phone even after the airhostess’s announcement . Gesturing with  a raised finger in the air, with pleading expression , “ Just-one-minute- please” and the cabin crew with an exasperated look of “ Oh-will –you- just –shut- up “; the scene is not funny. It is important to understand that mobile handset signals do interfere with the avionics of the aircraft and can be hazardous to the flight safety.

A billion Indians speaking for 500 minutes per month would translate into  annual talk time touching 6 trillion minutes! With this kind of speaking stamina we are  adding Rs 200,000 Crores to our GDP and also kicking up the price of spectrum to mega bucks which was till now a dead resource. Bolo India Bolo.

 While every minute on the phone adds to the national kitty, it is a time waster .It would be a better idea to read a book than talk on the phone at the airport lounge. It adds to your intellect and does not hurt your pocket using this ‘Joy Toy’.

With talk time prices tumbling down we no more bother about how much we speak. People go for a walk to take a break as well. This is the best time to be with yourself, thinking  of nothing , switching off from the maddening world. Yyour overheated brain, a tired mind , an exhausted mouth and  over strained vocal cords need a break.  But Joggers parks are full of talkative Indians who refuse to give up.

It is dicey to drink and drive and is equally risky to speak and drive. Not to miss a crooked head on a two wheeler- many times masked with a scarf and dark glasses to avoid dust- a dead mummy driving  and also talking!

A head count in a party or a mall confirms four out of ten guys stuck to their mobiles-   try it  as an interesting number game.

To reduce stress levels, before you punch a number on your mobile consider this. “Do I really need to speak? If you are looking for an honest answer, most of the times it will be “No You don’t”.

Your Talk Mantras ..

·         Think before you call - is this required.

·         Cut out the pleasantries – these are time wasters.

·         Be brief and to the point- don’t be repetitive.

·         Talk softly and be polite.

·         Don’t use your phone while driving.

·         Switch off your phone in the aircraft.

·         Avoid using a phone in public places- it disturbs others.

  We suffer  from  “Acute Compulsive Excessive Speaking Disorder”- ACESD.

Get rid of it- you can do it.