Friday 17 August 2012

Now we Love Cats....

We all love dogs and can be called " true dog lovers".. Dogs are so friendly so loving, so very loyal and add that love factor to any home.
We hated cats as they are CATS! Really could never understand why we never liked cats.
Possible reasons... The don't look love creatures... they have scary eyes? may be one does not feel comfortable holding them or petting them. They don't sit in your lap.They look creepy.. give you the  creeps.. not friendly at all..
I dont like making them sit next to me... they dont have innocent look... and so on.

One day all this changed. While sitting in our garden i saw a small little grey and white creature coming out of no where and just walked around us. " Hey what is this?" looks like a squirrel... thick bushy tail! As i called her she jumped and sat in my lap. Absolute beauty... innocent face .... big whiskers .. lovely coat and innocent eyes.... love oozing out.

And that was love at first sight. And then on wards this cat was here to stay. We named her " Frisky" as she was always moving around when not in the lap. She had no problems sitting with us on our bed and no one even once wanted her out.She would sit for hours together, cuddled up and sleeping in your lap.
Frisky responds like a dog.responds to her name..
We wanted to be safe and wanted her to be safe... so took to a vet for innoculation.... imagine the vet fell in love with frisky..
As he gave her a shot we thought friskey would make some noise.... no... she was so sweet... never uttered a word.. oops a shriek.
As the doc lifted her to examine... he said " He is a boy"  ,... you need not worry about his freedom..
Thank god for small mercies..
Frisky is with us.

Monday 13 August 2012

Dare to Bare

It was good to see a debate on one of the channels regarding women being targeted and linking it to the kind of dresses/ revealing clothes women wear,should not wear or why not wear and who are you to tell us what to wear..... bla bla blah blahh blahhhh.

Pooja Bedi the champion of this cause was properly dressed for the occasion - no offence meant- was all in form to bash every other guy/ girl on the panel and the audience left right and centre to prove ' Its my way or its highway'.
 Why should girls dress up in a particular way or so called decent way was the major bone of contention. We are a liberated lot, why should some one tell us how much to wear, wear or not to wear was the chorus..
We are a modern society, cant we dress up in scanty clothes and feel safe? very good question..Even if I wear low oh very low oh very very low jeans ... you look the other side you dumb rascal, arn't you from a civilized society..?Dont you have a mother or a sister at home.... but maam the dumb bastard replies... my mother doesn't wear such jeans!

The state and the law and order machinery was in the firing line and the question was.. " What ever we wear, isn't the state responsible to protect us?"..very good question but a little silly too.

Why should a girl feel unsafe walking alone  in the dark at 2 in the night ? Cant state protect her? Is this not the responsibility of the state? Ms Bedi shouts!!

Yes yes yes is the chorus. Very intelligent question but very silly. I will tell u how some one says...from the audience. Guys and gals from civil rights and women protective organisations shout ..." down with this government down with this Male chauvenist society!! We are now advanced and a modern society,,, down with these pigs who want to look at you, your silky legs and 

The basic questions that come to any innocent mind are " Why women like to wear less clothes? If they are revealing then whom are they revealing for? I am sure when you reveal you want some one to see you and  notice you. Otherwise whats the point.
If you are exposing your legs then sure you are not expecting a cat on the street to watch you or crow sitting on a tree watching you wearing a revealing top.you are doing this to attract attention of some one some where, otherwise why on a cold evening , you wear almost nothing at the cost of falling sick!! If you are not doing this to 'show' and doing this for your happiness alone.. you could have done that by wearing all this and staying at home, all day admiring yourself in the mirror.

SO whats the funda??
Ms Bedi says " Oh you mean to say we should not wear expensive jewellery and go out in the evening? And the government should not be responsible for our sfety and our jewellery.. how silly.....Hai Hai Hai hai...What a silly point- not from cricket you dumb- from real life Gurgaon.

By That token Ms Bedi you should not lock the front door of your house! The state is to protect you.! Why do you keep all your expensive stuff and jewels and cash in the locker.. keep it at home and state should protect it.

One girl in the audience asks... >" Kya Ashleel Kapde pahenna hi Modernism or progress Hai? Is wearing scanty clothes a criterion for being progressive"......
Very quickly the camera moves from this petite girl and shows the lamenting women... Hai hai.... hai hai..

camera bhi Sharma Gaya,....



Thursday 9 August 2012


           A brief on briefs

Large organizations have peculiar ways of functioning. This differs greatly between government, quasi-government and private corporations-each one having its own work culture, working ethos and above all, working jargon. The pleasure of using and listening to this jargon could be immense. If management jargon of today is a derivative of the American culture, the bureaucratic lingo is more traditional and orthodox in its approach like the British. Today a happy mix exists.
For example, consider training. The Americans brought the much talked about concept of human resource development through seminars, workshops and short training programmes. The British usually called such programmes as courses. The time for conducting training is getting shorter by the day. At the same time, a higher concentrated dose of training is being sought to be administered to the subject. Short capsule courses are now quite popular and intravenous courses-where subjects can be trained overnight-are well on the cards. The courses run within the organization are dubbed organizational intra-courses, and those run with the participation from other organizations are run as organizational inter-courses. Pill courses could be planned (Pun intended).
Every action must start on a noting sheet so that every one up the channel can take note of the action or the inaction. This exercise must be gone through for every possible requirement. It could be the purchase of a paper weight, or the convening of a board meeting.  This method, started by the British, is still the accepted norms because it lends itself to collective blame, inaction and responsibility-in that order.
Collectivism leads to the feedback syndrome where everybody in the chain likes to be kept updated on ‘whatever’ is going on. Whereas high and mighty MNCs, and the corporate world have adapted to such hi-tech tools as E-mail, some still like to use the good old briefs-a legacy of the Raj. Briefs are so important that nobody can do without them. So much of the paper work, detailed analysis, supporting data, all must eventually be made into a brief, so that it can be used.
Most bosses like to use their early morning briefs so that they can show off in front of their bosses. Special briefs are made for the VIPs and some people in their exuberance call them VIP briefs. Confidential briefs usually contain ‘Ander Ki Baat’. To save time, the top brass like to use short briefs, which are obviously made of good material-bond paper, please. Briefs prepared using A4 size material are called A-Fore briefs. The middle managers use longer briefs. The staff usually has to struggle with longer briefs (Bermuda Briefs) to cut them to smaller-sized briefs. Unfortunately, briefs have to be made in different sizes as the size of the brief changes with the level of the user, and is usually inversely proportional to the level of the person using it.
Surprisingly, bigger the person, smaller the brief. There is always a need for making a brief which can be used by everyone. This would mean making only one brief that can fit everyone’s requirements, and can be shared by all. A free-sized brief! Designers of such briefs are suitably rewarded. These designer briefs are now becoming popular.
Talking of rewards? Secretaries have lost their jobs due to poor quality of briefs. Board-room wars have been lost because of wrong briefs. My boss once refused to attend a board meeting because he                  said he didn’t have his brief and he would not be able to face the board without one. In fact he lost his shirt, because I lost his brief.
When the old meets new, something spectacular happens. Computer-aided briefs are the order of the day. Colour printers are now easily available and bosses now prefer coloured briefs. If a brief is not made in time for the boss, or the boss loses his brief, the whole organization can throw a fit! First thing in the morning, instead of asking for the first sight dak, the bosses usually ask their staff, where is my brief? and usually has to be told that his briefs are still in his secretary’s drawers!

Sunday 5 August 2012


YOUR EMOTIONAL BIO RHYTHM-EBR
Author Speak…….
Going through the pages of  my  book  Heart Over matter your mantra for success, you would have realized as to how very complex we human beings are. Our behavior, basic characteristics and our abilities to deal with the world and our environment differ from person to person. These abilities and temperament for each of us is very complex. That is why we also call this complex human behavior as an individual’s nature. This implies that these noncognitive aspects of our character are to some extent given to us by nature. That is why there are some who are very cool headed and some of us fly the handle and lose temper at the drop of a hat. These human instinct and basic qualities like will power, strength of character etc make a deep impact on each of us and to a large extent dictates as to how we interpret the world .Each one of us therefore has a unique Emotional Bio Rhythm-the way our emotions and characteristics shape our life-which is the key to improving our individual performance.
Emotional Intelligence –as described in the first few chapters –is a mix of an individual’s nature, characteristics, traits and attitude. On EI plain we all possess certain strengths as well as weaknesses; most of us have more strengths than weaknesses. To improve upon these weaknesses are like “Emotional Optimisation”.

To optimize, one must first be able to understand and realize what one possesses-what the nature has bestowed upon us. People are born under twelve zodiac signs. These sunsigns are as per English calculator. People born under a particular sunsign possess certain peculiar traits. These can be analysed and mapped on to the abilities that fall under the domain of Emotional Intelligence.
In Heart Over Matter,I have expanded the scope of EI by looking into and integrating EI with aspects like our likes and dislikes, relation between heart and head ,our basic emotional structure,passion,determination,motivation ,drive ,commitment,integrity,principles ,mind set and even values.
In a way I have covered the entire domain of human competence which can be labeled as “Ones character and Personality”. Within our character and personality map all these qualities are loosely coupled and loosely defined. It is not possible to quantify these traits and represent them as numbers. We call it Emotional Quotient but it would be very difficult to assign a number to ones EQ-at best it would be some sort of an approximation of a very subjective analysis.
Sunsigns define the character and personalities for people born under different sunsigns. Here also the characteristics are loosely defined and loosely structured. It is more of a narrative rather than a grading system. I feel one needs to leave it at that .If these can give us a gross feel about our basic character, we can take that as a start point for moving towards optimizing our abilities.
Surprisingly these characteristics pretty well match up with things like our sense of humour,delayed gratification,perseverance,optimism,patience,trusting others,impulsive nature, caring  for  others and so forth.
Sunsigns divides the earth’s 6.5 billion population into 12 distinct Zodiac signs. These are considered the twelve basic personality types. People in these groups get their characteristics or personality traits from whatever sign that the sun was passing through at the time of their birth. Since these sunsigns go across a time zone there is an imaginary boundary line between two signs. This imaginary line is called a ‘Cusp’. For simple understanding, people born close to these boundaries tend to have characteristics of both the signs.
As you read your Bio Rhythm as per your sunsign, you will realize that many of the characteristics match with your character almost hundred percent. Some of these match to some extent and you would say “Hm…this could be possible” and some don’t match at all and you say “Oh no! This is not me”. But if you take the sum total you will find a number of traits that match yours. Even if it is 80% profile match it becomes a useful tool.First, you can be conscious about your strengths and weaknesses and second you can make an effort to bring about a change in yourself. Third you can understand your personality and avoid those situations, jobs and people which do not go along with your personality.
For example if you are the one who cannot work under pressure and tension as per your Emotional Bio Rhythm then you must avoid taking jobs that have an environment or expectation which will have you under pressure.
Your “Self profiling” and Emotional Bio Rhythm put together can give you a fair idea as to how to deal with life, which direction to move into and what type of area of work to choose that goes along well with you.
Therefore you work on two plains together, emotional optimization and optimizing your life according to your temperament. Read on…..from my book

What the F**K are these Cuss words in our Brown Aksent
                                                       
We  laugh  when in the ‘police academy’ someone says “Bust your arse”..( even if there is nothing to laugh at), and we love to use this to prove our Phirangi outlook.But look around awkwardly when we listen to Rani Mukherjee’s “arse” in Hindi starting with a big, “G***” in  “No one killed Jessica Lal”. Teri G*** Phat ke Haath main aa jaigi.And say “Oh, Bahuot Abusive hai yaar! Absolutely sadaak chhapp!” so embarrassing -oh  so desi.
Sandhu becomes Sandy, Mandip a Mandy, Kulwinder a Candy!  Gay is not so gay in Punjab after all. Translation in Punjabi will be Oh so Slummish!
Delhi Belly the new hot movie sets your arse on fire!! Try and translate this in Punjabi and you will go red faced. It crosses all limits and takes the cake in using the choicest of Hindi Gaalis with a good mix and match of Fuck and Sucks.
Osho, Bhagwan Rajnish once delivered a pravachan on f@*ck .He proves that the word is certainly not Onomatopoei! Which are words that sound like the thing they represent .And both the males and females have use it far beyond the activity for which it was originally conceived.It is used as a noun,adjective, a verb  and even as an interjection!It defines and describes human emotions so perfectly.
Oh F^*%s expresses disappointment .What the f*&*k ..excitement and surprise.He is a fu***ng nut..stupidity. Who the f**k do you think you are..questions authority.Get the f**k out of here..giving marching orders..You see the power of the word.

Mahesh Bhatt says “Market forces change the form of every art..” Anurag Kashyap another film maker says “Its time to grow up..”. If this is what public wants then this is what public gets. Truely it is the market of today. And yes the urban guys and even gals are no more ashamed to use the four letter words in public in Hindi, Bhojpuri or Punjabi- who cares. As Anurag Kashyap says that is the language we speak.
What we also need to rethink is the way we speak English. Considering how foreigners speak Hindi literally f****ng it , why are we bothered to speak English English.


It is amusing  to see Shane Warne, struggling to say, “SAAR OOTAA KAYEE JIYOOU AUOR SAAR OOTAA  KEYE      KAEIALO.” In a HDFC standard life Insurance Advertisement.
“Aare yaar, yeh itna bhi nahi bol sakta?” is the first thing that comes to your mind, “Aur ham isko fir bhi itna paisa de rahen hai.” Almost all the reporters on western news channels pronounce muslims as”Mauzlims” and “Al Qaeda” as “Ayile Kaiydda”. The Britishers  stayed on our soil for almost a century and not only failed to learn our language but could never even learn to pronounce names of some of our cities like Jaipur or Lucknow.  What if one of them is asked to sing our national anthem! They never cared to learn and were never ever ashamed of this shortfall.
On the flip side, “We the people” speak and write better Queen’s English probably better than the Queen of England herself. We are also obsessed with being always, “Englishly correct” and are very conscious of this whenever we open our mouths. Not funny, but we insist speaking to even a waiter in a desi restaurant in English forcing the guy to struggle and speak the ‘Phoren’ Language.
If we see somebody speaking “non convent” or “non convent-ion-al” English we dump him for life. We are amused  when a Maharashtrian calls the writing instrument as “pain” and an Allahabadi as “pan” and a sardar as “Pennn”. Also “Baide room”, “Bad room” and “Beddd room” rhyme similarly for ‘Bed room’- oh so desi.Never to miss two baidroom ‘hole’ kitchen of our Gujju Bhais. If  a Phirangi cricketer still calls Sachin Tendulkar as “Sashin Tendauoolkar, (here T is as in Train and not as in Tehran),then why should I bother about “ishtaar and ishtyle” or  that “Inglis is a phunni languaze”. Does our progress depend on how we speak a foreign language.?
We  are in awe of   everyone- except ourselves. We get embarrassed in a restaurant and order  pasta because we don’t know how to pronounce Lasagne as La-zan-ya. In China we acquire a Chinese way of speaking English, we get influenced by Arabs out of all the people  as well to show we are Dubai returned- Oh so desi.
My  friend went to UK for for just nine months but he and his wife returned as- total phirangi. Huge ‘Aksent yaar ‘ and what they acquired 30 years back still remains intact! Guys go to US for three months and return as half Texans. Fellow acquired an American accent immediately after his visa was stamped at the US Embassy - I am going to “YOU ASS”- he said.
And when someone starts speaking Hindi in English, it surely gives goose bumps. “Hey , tthum kya khaarta hai? Don’t you see Meim Saahib bath laye raaha hai.”
 Let us learn to be punctual, be patriotic and doesn’t matter whether we speak inglis in bihari or angreji in Punjabi.
Middle class dogs (pets of middle class) are named Fluffy, Peter or Bugsy while Moti and Sheru are relegated to the Dhobi Ghats or Press Wallas on the Nukkad.Most of us feel “ Mount Bald ” sound better than Pahhar Ganj..!
I wish we had ruled the world - sochne main kya harz hai! the most popular daily news papers for the rich and mighty Britishers living in central London would have been London Bhaskar , York Shire Jagaran or Manchester Ujala- if we had ruled the world..
Come on grow up. It can happen if you want it to happen.


Friday 27 July 2012


Save the Honest Tiger

Almost every one of us is aware about the dwindling population of the great grand tigers across the world. From 100,000 in the year of the Lord 1900, today the figure hovers around anything between 3,000 to 4,000 tigers at best across the world. India alone has about 1700 Tigers .The tiger population has literally shrunk to less than four percent in a hundred years.
There have been numerous campaigns, huge media coverage, celebrity endorsements, World wild life fund projects and much more to reverse the trend. Sir Paul McCartney said “Losing the wild tiger would be unforgiveable. We need people power to save it. Every signature makes the campaign stronger” while referring to save the tiger project. This initiative was also endorsed by people no less than Amitabh Bachchan , Sir Roger Moore, Samantha Fox and Leonardo Dicaprio to name a few. Even the corporate has invested big time money in these projects as a part of their corporate Social responsibility initiative.
The concern to save the tiger, so that the species does not become extinct is really genuine and important. The efforts to tackle the situation are also worthy of praise and positive outcome is expected slowly but surely.
What is equally important – if not more- is to save the “honest tiger”. Population of this rare species is also rapidly shrinking by the day, especially in India. There may not be any comparative census report or a head count of the number of honest men and women in India in the year 1900 and how many of such people exist today. But , If tiger population has  experienced a dwindle ratio of 1:25 in the last century then one could  bet  on a worse scenario in case of the honest tiger – at least in India. Such men and women are tigers because in today’s corruption ridden Bharat you have to be a tiger to fight the corrupt and the jungle raj. You need to be a brave heart, strong, risk taking and fearlessly devoted to the cause and be prepared to sacrifice- even your life. The major difference between a striped tiger and the honest tiger is that the former is fighting for his life while the later is fighting for and behalf of all of us.
Scams and the society throw up wolves and hyenas in big numbers, but snuff the tigers. Whistle blowers, people who stand for honesty and who want to weed out corruption are blown away. Unfortunately wolves have a thick hide and have become stronger than the tigers whose dwindling numbers reflects this fact. Today the biggest challenge to the survival of an honest tiger is that he is always outnumbered by the Jackals and the hyenas who have a nexus and are even inbreeding and multiplying.  He desperately needs help, our help.
The striped tiger was chased and brutally exterminated by hunters employing various smart methods and tactics. Using a bait was the most common method to lure a tiger into the killing zone, where he was helpless, and could be easily gunned down. In India and Burma a mixture of latex and mustard oil was strewn around the water bodies where a tiger would come to drink water. This sticky stuff would get stuck to his paws, tongue and face and the poor animal would cover his face with mud and leaves while getting rid of it- hence making him partially blind. Setting jungles to fire, using beaters to scare the tiger into a place where he could be overpowered has also been in practice for very long.
Today wolves, hyenas and Jackals have also similarly learnt the art of trapping the honest tiger. They all unite despite their different pedigrees and gang up against him because they all have the same goal - finish the honest tiger. The wolves are becoming smarter and are aware that the honest tiger is alone. In case a few of them get together, wolves find a clever way to disperse them.
These tigers are not striped and cannot be easily spotted but have familiar names like Manjunath Shanmugam, Satyendranath Dubey or a Narendra Kumar who have been lone rangers.  Kiran Bedis, Anna Hazares and Arvind Kejriwals who got together were soon blown away by the wolves. Jackals and wolves are invisible gangs, goons, corridors of power, mafias, syndicates and mobs camouflaged within the system and sometimes outside the system.
Borrowing the words of Paul McCartney “Losing the honest tiger will be unforgiveable. We need peoples power to save it and every head counts”.  We need all hands on the deck, from Aam Admi ,celebrities, media, NGOs and even the corporate for this new initiative- which has already begun..

It is time that we save this grand and fearless race. If we cannot be whistle blowers ourselves or we are not able to start an anti corruption campaign let us at least support those who do. Remember, when the wolves strike together, all the animals in the forest will just disappear.
It would not be a bad idea to start a movement “Save the honest Tiger”.





Why EQ is more Important than IQ... Read on.. it can change your life and destiny..


To be prosperous is a very natural and essential requirement of every human being.   Therefore we all want to be successful in life.  A prosperous life means that one has to be successful as a student, as a professional and also as an individual.  Success besides materialistic achievement also means self esteem, satisfaction and general well being. The opportunities, available to you today are fortunately much more than what were available to young people about twenty years ago.

For example to pursue your further studies you have a large number of options. To choose a profession, apart from becoming an engineer, a doctor, a bureaucrat or a chartered accountant today one can opt for Mass Communication, Business management, fashion designing, Hospitality sector, Telecom Management to name a few.  Therefore in due course of time some of you will become IT professionals, singers, actors, models, painters, doctors, commercial pilots, entrepreneurs or consultants. Your other class fellows may pick up some very different professions, which you may not be able to even think of today.  This is possible because today things are changing at a very fast pace and more and more number of avenues are opening up.

To be successful in any of these areas you have to be good at that field.  These areas are going to be your domains where you will be working.  Therefore it is essential to have a good domain knowledge or domain expertise.  For that you should have a sound basic educational foundation.  This is given to you by your schools and colleges.  But do you think domain knowledge or expertise is enough to be successful?  Just think about this.

If I ask you the secret of success of Amitabh Bacchan, then what would be your answer?  Is it only his talent as an actor that has taken him to the number one position in the film Industry for the second time?  Or is there anything else that he posses which sets him apart from other film stars? The answer would be yes.  He has been so successful not only because he is a great actor but also because he has that will power to fight against failure, to work hard consistently at this age and his excellent relations with his co stars and film directors. Above all his humble approach in dealing with people has made him a likeable person.

In a similar way Sachin Tendulkar is a great batsman because besides being a gifted cricketer he is extremely hard working, meticulous and can play under tremendous pressure.  Therefore acquiring domain knowledge alone will not be enough for success.  You need to develop these other worldly skills possed by the most successful people.  Today it has been well proven that great people like JRD Tata, Narayan Murthy or Azim Premji were successful not so much because

of their domain knowledge but because of the qualities like, strong will power, love for their Job, ability to handle failure to name a few.  These people also had a firm belief in values like honesty, integrity and caring for others and the society.

Let us look at how over a period of time we as a society and as individuals developed our skills. During the beginning of the last century the progress of the society was dependant on inventions and discoveries like steam engine, electricity or the penicillin for example.  All these were the gifts of science and therefore study of science as a subject became very important for our progress.  Because of this a lot of importance was being given to science and technology.  That is how the concept of IQ (Intelligence Quotient) to test human ability came into being.   It was designed to assess the logical reasoning part of our abilities. 

Besides the logical reasoning god has given us some other abilities like acting, singing, or playing a game like football.  These are the gifts given to us by god.  Many people like AR Rehman, Lata Mangeshkar, Saurav Ganguly  have used these abilities to make a very successful and satisfying life.   Besides the IQ and the gifted abilities there is one more very important ingredient for success and that is values and emotional intelligence.  Values like commitment, honesty and caring for others are therefore as essential for success as IQ.  Emotional Intelligence is a set of those abilities which make us perform in any field better than the best.  Handling a set back, self esteem, ethical behaviour, being mentally strong are some of the abilities which form a part of Emotional Intelligence.  Unfortunately an IQ test does not cover these abilities at all.  Handling a crisis or getting along with friends has nothing to do with your IQ at all.  Nor are these related to your ability to become a singer or play football.   A lot of research has been done which proves that all great and successful people, like great singers, doctors, corporate heads, scientists and people from every walk of life have been successful because they believed in values and were having a high emotional intelligence. Therefore what ever field of profession you choose, these qualities will be essential for your success.  As you  read this book you will realize that this is the absolute truth.         
 
These are those worldly abilities without which success is not possible. For example you may be very good at mathematics and have a high IQ but if you do not seriously and meticulously prepare, you can never get through a competitive examination. Similarly you may be good at playing cricket, but if you do not practice six hours a day on the cricket pitch, have passion to play and do not go to the gym regularly to tone up your muscles, you cannot become Sachin Tendulkar.

Therefore these values and emotional intelligence become essential for success. Another important point to be understood is that the logical reasoning and IQ are
a matter of head where as emotional intelligence and value based success is from the heart.
For example, you would easily realize that passion for acting is from the heart and not the head. Similarly patriotism, charity and even self esteem are from your heart and not the head. Also remember that you would like to make friends with those people who are dependable, whom you can trust and who are good kind hearted people. If this is what you want from others, then. I am sure others would also like to see these qualities in you.

Another important thing for success is to have a role model. Role model is someone you look up to or someone you want to emulate or be like. A role model need not be only a very famous person like Abraham Lincoln, or Dhirubhai Ambani. It could be anyone whom you respect for his or her qualities. I know many young people who find their role models in their father or elder brother or even someone staying in the neighborhood. You can have multiple role models also. You may choose your father as a role model because he is down right honest and very hard working. At the same time you may admire Amitabh Bacchan for his dedication and ability to take set backs in life. So you could have two role models. And one day you may notice that your uncle has a pleasing personality and a great sense of humour, which could make for your third role model. Such role models become a great source of inspiration for all of us. And they remain a source of motivation and to some extent guiding spirit throughout our lives.

Now if you admire these people for these qualities than I am sure your friends will admire you if you imbibe and demonstrate these same very qualities! Just imagine, you can also become a role model for others if you acquire these simple abilities covered by emotional intelligence and value based living. Through these lessons we are going to learn some very important human abilities which I have briefly explained till now. Whatever you choose to do in the future, these abilities will take you to those heights of success which you can never ever imagine.

To get the maximum out of this you must participate in all discussions, group activities and also answer honestly the self assessment questions given at the end of each important value or quality.  Analyse your weak areas and then work on then so that you can improve in each and every quality.   God has given each one of us enough strength and intelligence so that we can make a change, a positive change to our personality.  The first step to make a change is to accept that you have certain qualities which you need to improve upon.  Then it becomes much easier to change.  Even if you make a little change in each area it will make a big change in your life.

“It is difficult to change 100% in one area but it is easy to change 1% in hundred areas”



Monday 23 July 2012


It is a hard fact that people born in 50's and 60's were very attached to gifts what were given to them by parents or friends. For example a guy will preserve a wrist watch presented to him by his dad when he was just fourteen till the time he retired. He may not wear it all along but would keep it in his cupboard safely and would never throw it away as an old piece of junk.He would always relate it to the fond memories of his father.
People were very attached to their old cars, paintings and even plants or trees in the house.Old homes were not sold for profits as there were old memories attached to these homes. It was just not another property to dispose of and make money. It valued more than money.

This also reflected in relations with friends and girlfriends. Relations were for keeps. They were life long friendships, emotional bonding and it would hurt when it broke for any reason. People made efforts to keep relations going.
Today we are in the materialistic age where " Change is the in thing" we are prepared to throw away old things or even gifts as old junk. We don't value their value.May be same thing is trickling into human relations.. " Till the death dos us apart.." is " Till a divorce does us apart.."
There fore the old generation was ' attached' to things and people. Buddha's teaching says " remain unattached or detached from every worldly thing for happiness. Attachment is the basic cause of unhappiness".
If Gen Next is not attached then are they moving towards Happiness. That is the question we need to answer.

It is a hard fact that people born in 50's and 60's were very attached to gifts what were given to them by parents or friends. For example a guy will preserve a wrist watch presented to him by his dad when he was just fourteen till the time he retired. He may not wear it all along but would keep it in his cupboard safely and would never throw it away as an old piece of junk.He would always relate it to the fond memories of his father.
People were very attached to their old cars, paintings and even plants or trees in the house.Old homes were not sold for profits as there were old memories attached to these homes. It was just not another property to dispose of and make money. It valued more than money.

This also reflected in relations with friends and girlfriends. Relations were for keeps. They were life long friendships, emotional bonding and it would hurt when it broke for any reason. People made efforts to keep relations going.
Today we are in the materialistic age where " Change is the in thing" we are prepared to throw away old things or even gifts as old junk. We don't value their value.May be same thing is trickling into human relations.. " Till the death dos us apart.." is " Till a divorce does us apart.."
There fore the old generation was ' attached' to things and people. Buddha's teaching says " remain unattached or detached from every worldly thing for happiness. Attachment is the basic cause of unhappiness".
If Gen Next is not attached then are they moving towards Happiness. That is the question we need to answer.

Friday 20 July 2012

                                                     Rise of Rajesh Khanna...
It was an interesting and an emotional coverage anchored by Times now channels Editor in Chief Arnab Goswamy where Mahesh Bhatt and Prem Chopra spoke about rajesh Khanna.
He asked a very pertinent Question " How rajesh Khanna managed to reach such heights?" The two gentlemen gave credit to his abilities- which no one could deny. But can talent alone get you to that super stardom?
I feel there is lot more to explain the phenomenon of success in a profession where there are so many intangibles working against and for you.
I feel you need to get lot many things right at the same time to hit spectacular success.It is like opening of all seven doors together- i a row and you taking a rifle shot which goes thru and hits the target.

In case of Rajesh Khanna, there were a few things which all worked together for him.
First of all he had Directors like Hrishikesh mukherjee and very strong story lines. More over, most movies had a sad ending generating sympathy and we iIndians are very emotional.
You need to take account of Songs- the soul of Indian cinema.I think there was a brillian composition backed by simple appealing lyrics. And to top it all the golden voice of Kishor Kumar- which had a touch of sophistication in it. You cannot discount this at all. Even todya those songs give you goose bumps- not only to the old but appeal to the young teens of today.His voice suited Rajesh Khanna like a tee.

!970 was the year which was 20 years plus into our freedom. The nation had come to terms with itself- people wanted to move along- there was no hatred or anger.Love was as if in the air. it was the end of the decade where the angry youth rebelled- and the angry man emerged.
That is how destinies are made. right time, right people and the right place...


Thursday 19 July 2012


The Talkative Indian
Virender kapoor
Adding 15.34 million subscribers every month to an already existing 861 million mobiles, we are all set to cross the one billion mark by 2012. This simply means every four out of five of us having a phone within a year. From  our first telephone exchange at Kolkata in 1892 with just 97 subscribers  ,this is impressive.
Our  TQ-Talking Quotient of averaging 500 minutes of talk time every month is highest in the world with Chinese at 327 minutes and Koreans , Russians speaking for 160 and 88 minutes a month respectively. We  talk too much and  also very loudly  – as if the other  person is deaf. Most of us don’t bother to put our mobiles on vibrate mode even during seminars or conferences. Simple etiquettes tell us to follow this norm and today one can afford to speak softly as handhelds are  sensitive enough to  pick up even a burp  of a mouse.
We refuse to switch off our phone even after the airhostess’s announcement . Gesturing with  a raised finger in the air, with pleading expression , “ Just-one-minute- please” and the cabin crew with an exasperated look of “ Oh-will –you- just –shut- up “; the scene is not funny. It is important to understand that mobile handset signals do interfere with the avionics of the aircraft and can be hazardous to the flight safety.
A billion Indians speaking for 500 minutes per month would translate into  annual talk time touching 6 trillion minutes! With this kind of speaking stamina we are  adding Rs 200,000 Crores to our GDP and also kicking up the price of spectrum to mega bucks which was till now a dead resource. Bolo India Bolo.
 While every minute on the phone adds to the national kitty, it is a time waster .It would be a better idea to read a book than talk on the phone at the airport lounge. It adds to your intellect and does not hurt your pocket using this ‘Joy Toy’.
With talk time prices tumbling down we no more bother about how much we speak. People go for a walk to take a break as well. This is the best time to be with yourself, thinking  of nothing , switching off from the maddening world. Yyour overheated brain, a tired mind , an exhausted mouth and  over strained vocal cords need a break.  But Joggers parks are full of talkative Indians who refuse to give up.
It is dicey to drink and drive and is equally risky to speak and drive. Not to miss a crooked head on a two wheeler- many times masked with a scarf and dark glasses to avoid dust- a dead mummy driving  and also talking!
A head count in a party or a mall confirms four out of ten guys stuck to their mobiles-   try it  as an interesting number game.

To reduce stress levels, before you punch a number on your mobile consider this. “Do I really need to speak? If you are looking for an honest answer, most of the times it will be “No You don’t”.
Your Talk Mantras ..
·         Think before you call - is this required.
·         Cut out the pleasantries – these are time wasters.
·         Be brief and to the point- don’t be repetitive.
·         Talk softly and be polite.
·         Don’t use your phone while driving.
·         Switch off your phone in the aircraft.
·         Avoid using a phone in public places- it disturbs others.

  We suffer  from  “Acute Compulsive Excessive Speaking Disorder”- ACESD.
Get rid of it- you can do it.

Thursday 28 June 2012

You would love this piece!!!


‘Life Ho to Aisi’’

By Virender Kapoor

It was like any other good day and he was feeling very satisfied and happy. He had finished his usual breakfast of eggs and soft breads and was sitting on his favourite cushioned seat which was always reserved for him. Out of the window he could see the morning hustle and bustle of the town- people rushing for work. What a dog’s life these guys lead, he thought. Thank God he was so lucky that he didn’t have to do all this for his comfortable living.
       Kids had left for the school by now and the elder’s were both out for work. Thinking of the kids, what a storm they create in the morning for their mother. Poor lady had to give them a bath, cook their breakfast and pack their lunch before she could attend to her own affairs. And there was always an argument on something or the other between husband and wife. He could never figure out what was all the fight about. Over the last twelve years he had been observing everything without saying a word. Oh not again, Nair’s our neighbors had started a fight as usual, shouting on top of their voice. Once they go away for work, peace would return. It would be Sharda Bai, the maid servant who would be the only one left to get the house in order. Sun was nice and bright and he was ready to move out to the garden. This was his favourite place, next to the nature he thought as he stretched himself moving out of his chair. Birds, butterflies and squirrels were his best friends.
He would spend a good time of the day in the garden, which was so meticulously maintained by the mali. He made the best of it. Having taken in a lot of oxygen which did good to his appetite, he would be ready for lunch. Sharda Bai always cooked something special for him and would always give him company for lunch. She was very affectionate and caring, God bless her. A good siesta after lunch and then the brats would be back. By now he was missing them. Sometimes they made a lot of noise, watched TV and listened to loud music which he never liked. Whatever it was, they were after all a part of my family, he thought. They loved him and he loved them so much. Life was so beautiful, it couldn’t have been better.
The door bell rang, oh it must be the brats back from school. “Fluffy, where are you?”, they shouted. He got up and ran towards the door wagging his tail in excitement-as usual, a thoroughbred Labrador.

Wednesday 27 June 2012


Return on Investment-
What ROI can you expect from a Post graduate Management program.
Virender Kapoor

It is an irony and also a reality that today people look at education as a financial instrument. While it is good to know what you are getting into and what’s in it for you, it may not be right to view education as an instant cash cow or an ATM for that matter. This is a typical mindset of ‘instant gratification’ and it is time that young India understands this in the right perspective. It is unfortunate that parents and students have a myopic view in this regard. That is why many young boys and girls get mislead into choosing something that fails to pay dividends later in life. Good education is a long term investment if one still insists on looking at it as an investment.
Let us look at a simple example as an illustration. An IAS entrant or any first class gazette officer in the early seventees started his career with a pay scale of less than Rs 500/- a month. Forty years down the line, after the sixth pay commission his salary is pegged today at around Rs 80,000/- a month, which comes to a hundred and sixty times jump! This happened because he or she got into the ‘right track’ and a right grooming thereafter. Building up the knowledge base and grooming is what a good education will do for a student and hence will enable him to get on to the right track.
In case of a management discipline one must look at it as more vocational than educational. A good management program must not only give you a degree so to say, but should put a student through a grilling process so that a fully baked product is created which is ready to be employed. Such a program should be able to change your track. This is the key and the essence of education which students and their parents must understand.
OK, so you are on the right track and let us say after your two year management program you are employed at Rs 30,000/- per month. Taking the multiplication factor of 160 arrived at earlier – though corporate sector gives you higher and faster raise than the government jobs- your remuneration in the last year of your career would be Rs 480,000/- per month which is a whopping 5.76 Crores Per Annum. Don’t forget you have also earned progressively for full forty years.
So what do we learn from this simple arithmetic? Good education is Sarswati and money is Laxmi. You run after Sarswati and Laxmi will automatically follow you. There are no two ways about this. I get surprised and also dismayed when some students seeking admission to a management PG program make their choices largely on the fee factor and the kind of first job they expect from campus. Some of them are so ill informed that they feel that their first job should get them their entire fee back in one year. This is the biggest folly.Why do they forget that a good education and training will equip you to earn with compounded returns over the next four decades. But the bottom line here is that you must go for a program which can groom you, grill you and make you job ready. So don’t kill that proverbial Golden goose that can give you a golden egg everyday in order to get all the eggs together

Tuesday 26 June 2012


Can we make our youngsters more resilient for their own good?

A recent incidence shocked the entire nation, where a fifteen year old school boy stabbed his teacher to death in Chennai. The teaching community was hurt the most. It was a well thought out action and the boy stabbed the lady a number of times in the class room till she dropped dead. The reason for this ghastly action was, that his teacher had sent out a written complain to his parents, pointing out the boy’s recurring failure in her subject.
 Whenever any such incidence occurs, there is an immediate uproar in the society and after a while there is an absolute silence.  Suddenly Socialites, psychiatrists, journalists, educationists, bureaucrats, social workers and even NGOs jump into the fray. Each one of them coming up with their own version of , “Why it happens and what can be done to prevent it in the future”. Most of the ‘debaters’ suggest quick fix solutions which may never work or come up with ideas which can never get implemented. Unfortunately- as if to avoid the situation- many of us even manage to point a finger at our education system, which indirectly means the teaching community. Instead of simplifying the problem we try to complicate it or circumvent it every time. As they say history repeats itself and we never learn from history.
We seem to be gradually falling into the ‘western trap’. As we progress on the materialistic front we are losing big time on the human behavior of our people – especially the younger generation. The worst is that we look for solutions from the western society which itself is struggling to keep their children in control. Let us face the fact that every need of a child belonging to even the so called ‘middle class’ in our country today is being easily met and most of the children therefore cannot take no for an answer. Parents who were earlier struggling to tame their kids , gradually gave it up or may be gave in to the pressures of neo modern society. In recent years, on the contrary many of them have joined the bandwagon and have started encouraging their children to indulge – if you can’t beat them join them! Perhaps that is the easiest way out. ‘Parental pampering’ is the order of the day and parents feel that they own the schools and the teachers just because they pay the fee. Schooling and bringing up your children is much more than ‘Pay and Park’ and realizing this is the basic start point to address this problem. How much of counseling in the schools can we afford to carry out in terms of time and money? Even if we manage to do it across all schools the question is, will it work without the involvement and understanding of the parents? 
Solution to this problem lies in looking at it the Emotional Intelligence way. In his book, Danial Goleman beautifully states that Emotional Intelligence is nothing more than those old fashioned things like will power, resilience, delayed gratification and ability to bounce back after failure  or even coping up with an insult for example. Today we all over react to the word ‘punishment’, especially in the context of schools . Let us understand that life is a journey full of rewards and punishments. You do something good in life and you are rewarded, you do something wrong you are punished for that, it is as simple as that.  If a child puts his hand into a fire he gets hurt ( punishment) so that he learns not to repeat it. That is how nature works and that is how the law of the land is also formulated. Penance is a punishment given by a priest for committing a sin   and that has been an accepted norm. Is this not important to teach all this to children to prepare them for life which is no bed of roses?
Today self esteem is the most delicate entity. An individual’s self esteem is as fragile as a piece of porcelain and is most easily shattered at the drop of the hat. Good missionary schools used to give “Good conduct” and “ Bad conduct “ badges to students which were to be worn by the students for the whole week. Students took it in the right spirit and that is what is important to understand. Nobody called it humiliating or demeaning then; Neither the parents nor the society .It prepared you to face insults , ups and downs and realities of life. For how long we need to protect a child from the realities like failures, pressures, disappointments and dismay? Getting bad report cards from a teacher cannot and should not trigger a murderous knife attack as it happened in Chennai.In the larger context it well may be the reason for road rage, street brawls and even divorces.
Let us examine the age factor as well. Can we keep treating a school student like a ‘child’ from 3 years to 17 years and 11 months of age and then hand him over voting rights one fine morning when he is 18? Here after he is responsible for everything he does, whether it is violating a traffic rule or committing forgery for which he can be jailed. How in the heaven can we expect a sudden transformation from him when you have kept him in the cotton wool for so long. It is like a domesticated tiger being left out in the jungle. He will not be able to face even the wolves!
We need to treat children differently at different age groups and try to build in the resilience component  and patience as they gradually mature. It has to done collectively by all the stake holders – parents, schools and most importantly the society. We need to relook at this problem and an old fashioned approach may be in order. People are moving back to ancient techniques of Yoga, meditation, Pranayam and Ayurveda for physical well being and with great success. Building resilience with a bit of reward and deterrence can show us the way.


Friday 22 June 2012

This Blog is to bring awareness and provide content for all the intellectual minds who think different and need  some food for thought... You will get some new ideas , new flavors and some thought provokers..
 enjoy..

Virender Kapoor

If
If you have Jugaad and you are honest,well meaning,ethical and don’t lie;

If you have Jugaad and you love your country,you are patriotic and you love your countrymen;

If you have jugaad and you are forth right, have courage of conviction, have self esteem and pride;

If you have Jugaad and you can stand up against corruption ,fight injustice,care for the society;

You will be an asset to this world and others will be proud of you, my son.

Sunday 17 June 2012




Folks here is an interestingPiece from My Book " Heart oVer Matter- Your Mantra For Success"... A Concept I created Mappin Emotional Intelligence to Sunsigns...
It is amazingly accurate....


 YOUR EMOTIONAL BIO RHYTHM
Virender Kapoor
Going through the pages of this book you would have realized as to how very complex we human beings are. Our behavior, basic characteristics and our abilities to deal with the world and our environment differ from person to person. These abilities and temperament for each of us is very complex. That is why we also call this complex human behavior as an individual’s nature. This implies that these noncognitive aspects of our character are to some extent given to us by nature. That is why there are some who are very cool headed and some of us fly the handle and lose temper at the drop of a hat. These human instinct and basic qualities like will power, strength of character etc make a deep impact on each of us and to a large extent dictates as to how we interpret the world .Each one of us therefore has a unique Emotional Bio Rhythm-the way our emotions and characteristics shape our life-which is the key to improving our individual performance.
Emotional Intelligence –as described  –is a mix of an individual’s nature, characteristics, traits and attitude. On EI plain we all possess certain strengths as well as weaknesses; most of us have more strengths than weaknesses. To improve upon these weaknesses are like “Emotional Optimisation”.

To optimize, one must first be able to understand and realize what one possesses-what the nature has bestowed upon us. People are born under twelve zodiac signs. These sunsigns are as per English calculator. People born under a particular sunsign possess certain peculiar traits. These can be analysed and mapped on to the abilities that fall under the domain of Emotional Intelligence.
In Heart Over Matter,I have expanded the scope of EI by looking into and integrating EI with aspects like our likes and dislikes, relation between heart and head ,our basic emotional structure,passion,determination,motivation ,drive ,commitment,integrity,principles ,mind set and even values.
In a way I have covered the entire domain of human competence which can be labeled as “Ones character and Personality”. Within our character and personality map all these qualities are loosely coupled and loosely defined. It is not possible to quantify these traits and represent them as numbers. We call it Emotional Quotient but it would be very difficult to assign a number to ones EQ-at best it would be some sort of an approximation of a very subjective analysis.
Sunsigns define the character and personalities for people born under different sunsigns. Here also the characteristics are loosely defined and loosely structured. It is more of a narrative rather than a grading system. I feel one needs to leave it at that .If these can give us a gross feel about our basic character, we can take that as a start point for moving towards optimizing our abilities.
Surprisingly these characteristics pretty well match up with things like our sense of humour,delayed gratification,perseverance,optimism,patience,trusting others,impulsive nature, caring  for  others and so forth.
Sunsigns divides the earth’s 6.5 billion population into 12 distinct Zodiac signs. These are considered the twelve basic personality types. People in these groups get their characteristics or personality traits from whatever sign that the sun was passing through at the time of their birth. Since these sunsigns go across a time zone there is an imaginary boundary line between two signs. This imaginary line is called a ‘Cusp’. For simple understanding, people born close to these boundaries tend to have characteristics of both the signs.
As you read your Bio Rhythm as per your sunsign, you will realize that many of the characteristics match with your character almost hundred percent. Some of these match to some extent and you would say “Hm…this could be possible” and some don’t match at all and you say “Oh no! This is not me”. But if you take the sum total you will find a number of traits that match yours. Even if it is 80% profile match it becomes a useful tool.First, you can be conscious about your strengths and weaknesses and second you can make an effort to bring about a change in yourself. Third you can understand your personality and avoid those situations, jobs and people which do not go along with your personality.
For example if you are the one who cannot work under pressure and tension as per your Emotional Bio Rhythm then you must avoid taking jobs that have an environment or expectation which will have you under pressure.
Your “Self profiling” and Emotional Bio Rhythm put together can give you a fair idea as to how to deal with life, which direction to move into and what type of area of work to choose that goes along well with you.
Therefore you work on two plains together, emotional optimization and optimizing your life according to your temperament. 

Saturday 16 June 2012

I feel politicians are the most creative people..Look the way the entire crafty precision was used to put Pranab Mukherjee as the winning horse by UPA and congress.



Friday 15 June 2012

This is the first one....I feel I have a lots of Blogging coming in the coming days..